A Happy Birthday

1981

When I was twelve, I asked for a piano for my birthday.
I really, really, really wanted one in a have-a-conniption-if-I-don’t-get-it way.
Why?  Because my friend Noelle had one.
She played beautifully.
I thought having a piano would give me instant talent.
I hadn’t thought about the years of lessons that would accompany the gift.
To this day, the birthday piano has a special place in my den.
I play it every other Christmas or so.
My repertoire consists of “What Child Is This” and “Open Arms” by Journey.
Don’t judge.

1999

I vowed in this year to make my thirtieth the best I’ve had physically.
I didn’t want “stuff” in celebration of my birthday, but I wanted to be healthier.
Okay.  What I really wanted was to “look good”.
Stop laughing.  You know you’ve had this same want before.
3-0 was a big number to yield to, and at the time, I felt it was all downhill from there if I wasn’t careful.
I thought looking better would give me instant acceptance.
I wanted to turn heads, for what it was worth.
So did I achieve what I wanted?
Maybe.
It probably was the healthiest I appeared on the outside.
But this year was also when I went through a very dark time.  Divorce.
The side effect was a slimmer, more youthful me, in appearance.
But on the inside, I was broken, ashamed, and just flat out hurting.

2013
This year, there’s nothing I want for.
I don’t need things.
I’m comfortable with who I am, inside and out.
And you know what?
Forty-four has slowly showed up for my birthday, and I am overwhelmed by God’s blessings.
I’m absolutely, unmistakably blessed beyond what I could have imagined.  Ever!
I have the love of my doting  husband  and our three talented, tender-hearted sons.
I’m part of a family that spans state and blood lines, and that loves unconditionally.
And to add icing on the cake that is already so, so delicious, I have a wealth of brothers and sisters in Christ whom I do life with every single day.

Father, I’m so thankful for your faithfulness, and your patience with me, and your loving-kindness that you so lavishly pour into my life.  This year, I stand confident in who I am in your eyes –Your talented, beautiful daughter, accepted through your grace and mercy.  You love me whether I can play the piano or not, and whether or not the world thinks I measure up to its standards.  Thank you for the best gift of all – your son, Jesus Christ.  It is through his death and resurrection that I have hope and a future in your Kingdom.
Amen.

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One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Cindy Russo on March 29, 2013 at 10:01 am

    I agree. When asked if I would ever go back to a younger me I say no. I am very happy where I am. Faith, family, and friends. I have it all. I know you do too. Happy Birthday and ever other day of the year my faithful, family, friend!

    Reply

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