There’s this person who is always blaming me.
Always faulting me.
Actually, this person always blames anyone but himself.
Doesn’t matter what the subject is, and whether or not it amounts to a hill of beans or not.
I’m almost certain that if it rains, I, somehow, am at fault in this person’s eyes.
Thing is, there was a day and time when that would have mattered to me.
There was a day and time when this undeserved weight of the pointed finger really affected me.
That was a long time ago, though, and I’ve learned over the years not to let someone else’s accusations, comments and judgments shape my identity.
There are some people who just will always go against the grain.
Well, let me rephrase it: There are some people who just will probably always go against the grain.
My prayer is that this person, in particular, will one day not.
Doing what is right is not always an easy thing to do.
In fact, the predecessor of doing what is right – that time of anticipation – can be quite uncomfortable and unsatisfying.
A week ago I called out in prayer (Yes, I mean literally called out! With all these blue tooth devices and hand free things, I talk more openly with God, and loudly, knowing that the person sitting in the car beside me at the red light will probably assume I’m talking on the phone to someone. Somehow, that makes the space inside my car a safe place for getting verbal with My Savior.)
So, yes, I called out. I was on my way to work. I had a meeting later that morning with this person who always blames me for stuff. My prayer that morning was a confident submission to God, giving Him authority over my tongue, my voice and my actions. And while I submitted myself in this way, I also asked….begged…..prayed over my blame-mate. I prayed that any pride, hate for me and “cat and mouse” game playing desires he had be somehow wiped away, and that only “the right thing” would be done in this situation. Friends – I mean I laid it out there, acknowledging that while I doubted this person’s flesh could do the right thing, I knew that My God – The Creator of the Universe – THE ONE – I knew that with Him, anything is possible. I believe this with every ounce of who I am. And it is because of this belief that I was able to earnestly pray over this person who always blames me…over the person who finds it easier to indict me at all costs…I lifted this persons name to My Father and begged that the Holy Spirit move this man to do what was right.
Less than an hour later, I got word that this person who doesn’t like me…well…he did the right thing.
He did the right thing!
Did you hear me? HE DID THE RIGHT THING!!!
Boys and girls!!! I recognized God’s hand in this and immediately gave Him the glory for what had been done.
But that wasn’t all that was in store for me that morning. See, God had answered my prayer that morning, and the Holy Spirit was singing. Because this person had done what was right, I no longer had to be the “plaintiff” seeking for “the right thing” to be forced. Because My Father loves me so, and because My Father shows me grace and mercy every single day, I know that this is what is expected of me, too. So you know what I did?
I allowed for our meeting matter to be dropped. Off the docket. Gone. Because if I am to show my fellow man (and that includes every one of them, even the one who is the constant blamer) that I belong to Jesus Christ, then I have to be able to hand out mercy, even when the flesh I wear doesn’t want to. My flesh would have been completely satisfied to charge ahead full-steam, to corner this other person. But my flesh does not control me any longer, Praise God, and doing “what is right” yields something far more intense and long lasting than anything that can sooth the flesh.
There’s this quote I heard once, and I lean on this every single time I am disappointed in another person, for whatever reason — any time I find my flesh wanting to react to someone like Mr. Blamer: “You can’t control the actions of others, but you can control the actions of yourself.”
Oh, there’s another one: “The only thing that you have control over in this life is your reactions to it.”
I’m so thankful for the work that God is doing in me, every day, and so happy to break free from the things which once bound me up with fear and intimidation. I stand today as a Child of God, and that is what defines me. I recently read in a a book (In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day): the most important thing about you is what comes to mind when you think about God. I love that. Yes, I am a Child of God, and that defines who I am. Not the accusations. Not the untruths told between two people or shouted about me from one to whomever will listen. Not the judgments. Not the scowls. Not the threats. Not the things meant to cause me harm. None of that matters. Glory to God, for He is mine and I am His.
I learned today that Mr. Blamer did not see my response earlier this week as the mercy it was. I offered him a seat. I held his hand in mine as I thanked him for doing the right thing. I asked Christ to be my tongue, my voice and my actions, and He was present in me. I left Mr. Blamer earlier this week, completely filled with joy by The Heavenly Father, because I know I reacted in a way pleasing to Him. Yet, Mr. Blamer discounted my kindness. Instead, he sees me as weak. He sees me as someone who he has “gotten one over on”. His finger pointing and blaming and tearing down continues, through other people.
I am reminded of Jesus. I am reminded of the disciples. I am reminded of how much easier it was for the world to blame and force accusations on Jesus and His followers. I am reminded of how the mercy and grace offered were seen way back when as weaknesses. I am reminded of how mercy and grace offered today is seen as the same.
And so what happens next?
I continue to submit to My Savior, and ask His guidance in continuing to offer mercy and grace to people like Mr. Blamer.
Why?
Because I am His, and He is mine.
His word tells us: “Judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful.” Matthew 7: 1-2
Thank you, Father, for Your Living Word. Thank you for your patience, endless mercy and grace. I ask that your spirit continues to fill me so that I may reach others in love and in a way that is pleasing to you. Father, I long to walk in your will. Please guide my steps and reveal to me opportunities to share The Good News with others. Amen.
the toenail 