It’s a new year. Many conversations and comments are based right now on “resolutions”, “things we are going to change”, “new ways we are going to live”. Just as yesterday was Friday the 13th and I could have cared less for the folklore surrounding such a number, I give as little weight to the idea of New Year’s Resolutions. Changes should be made for personal reasons, not necessarily on the universal date of the clean slate. I mean, if we’re vowing to make a positive change, for whatever reason, shouldn’t it be heart-induced, and not calendar-induced?
So you didn’t see a “New Years Resolution” post from me, and please don’t confuse this with one. After all, we’re well on our way in 2012 with it being the 14th, and not the 1st. 😉 Without further ado, I would like to introduce my January 14th CFM (change-for-me). Yeah, that sounds selfish, but I author it with the best intentions of changing for Him. I mean, it is “me” that I long to change so that I can be more like Him. CFM stays.
—drumroll, please—
I, a daughter of Christ, am going to give it to Him.
Doesn’t that sound easy?
I know a few who do this without notice…and I long to be this person. I have given it to Him before, but it’s always been so hard to let my grip go. I like to hold on to things. I think I’ve even prided myself in ownership over some things for a long time before letting Him have them. I worry. I stress. I neatly hide things that I should give to Him. Like a mother hen, sometimes I hold onto things, hoping they will hatch into something better, more manageable for my hands (they never do).
Yesterday, I held onto something that was causing me enormous guilt. It was interfering with my work. It was monopolizing my thoughts. It was even causing me to doubt what I was sure was a very righteous action. “Mine, mine mine!” Oh, how I like to hold onto things. I certainly wasn’t thinking of sharing this, and definitely had not considered giving it away, until I went to the Ladies’ room. That’s right, the bathroom. I needed a break. A breather. I needed a private area to deal with this new thing I was carrying. I did not go into there to pray, although I should have. I did not go in there with the intention of leaving this thing behind. I did not think of Him, at all. I did not remember how much He would like to have this thing. I did not look toward Him.
Hallelujah, He reached out to me!
With a heavy heart and a mind trying to make since of this new, worrisome thing I had acquired, I put my head in my hands and closed my eyes. That’s when I noticed Him. His words reached out to me softly and reminded me He was there. “Give it to me.” It was not a demand. It was not pushy. It was not stated in disapproval. These words came to me in love, a gift, freely offered. He had the solution! He always has the solution! It was only upon “hearing” these words that I was able to let go of the thing that was causing me so much grief, and I did so readily. It WAS easy, and the peace that replaced the area this thing had been occupying was immediate. I’ve given things to him before, so why do I continue to struggle with this? Why do I try to make things my own?
Thank you, Jesus, for reaching out to me and tapping me on the shoulder to remind me of your constant presence with me, of your continual desire to guide me, help me and lift me up when I can’t seem to stand by myself. Thank you for emptying me of the things that cause worry, and filling me with your peace.
My It’s-Not-A-New Year’s-Resolution is to Give it to Him!
the toenail 