Day 172

“How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?”

I still don’t know the answer to that question.

I do know, however, the answer to a different question.

It takes Songbird3 exactly 172 days to feel indeterminate poignancy over the absence of her oldest son.

Man, sure is easier to type that as third person than it is to experience it as first.

You know, I noticed this whatever it is coming over me a couple of days ago, but it wasn’t until today that I was able to acknowledge the angst I’ve been having over this.  Everyone (including me!)  has been so surprised and encouraged by how seemingly easy this family vacancy has been in our household.  I’ve been given the blessing of such enormous joy throughout these last few months.  I still have joy, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve let a little bit of that empty place at our dinner table create a void in my today.  I miss him.

Yeah, I just miss him.

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