I Am A Selfish Driver

Yesterday I asked, and God didn’t hold back.  He revealed to me all kinds of ways I need to love people.  The first way was just moments after I finished my blog, “Love, Y’all”, when the kids and I got in our car and headed off to school & work.

I am selfish when that car door shuts.  How can I love others as I love myself when I do this?  I can’t.  Pretty simple conclusion, right?

That car door snaps closed and all of a sudden it’s game on for me.  All of the day’s needed coordination to meet schedules and deadlines and due dates and start times…they come on me fast and furious.  

“It’s 7:08am.  If I go left, I’ll get Reed to school early, but I might risk getting Lane to school late.  If he’s not late, I might have time to grab a quick coffee before heading to work.  But I should skip the coffee and go to work directly, so that I have time to spend in devotion before clocking in.”

Decisions, decisions.  I have a handful of things that have to be completed in less than an hour and a half.  Before I realize it, I’m pulling into the high school, and have yet to say morning prayers with the kids.  I think, “how did I get here so quickly, and who was driving, because I can’t remember any of the route from Street A to Street H.”  

Ever do that?  Get so wrapped up in thought that you arrive at your destination and realize you can’t really remember the drive?  It’s like your body goes on auto pilot while your head works out the details of your day.

Ugh.  Selfish.  I’m not thinking about the moment, that’s for sure.  I have uninterrupted minutes with my kids, and I’ve let them pass because I’m busy in my one-man-band head.  
But I’m also not aware of those I share the road way with.  

Ouch.  

That was given to me loud and clear yesterday morning.  

We teach “defensive driving” to our teenagers – I teach defensive driving to my teenager – yet, I have not displayed much with my own actions in even being aware of the other drivers all around me.  

I’m not talking about “loving those I share the roadways with” by driving 25 miles an hour, trying to make eye contact with every car that passes me, or goodness sake, that I may pass at that speed.  I’m not talking about holding up a sign at every stop light that reads, “Good morning, I love you!”  I’m simply talking about respecting others in a non-rage, non-hurried manner that relays I know I’m not the only driver with a billion things to get accomplished during the morning rush.  

I can do this by obeying the speed limit.  When the posted speed is 45 MPH, I should definitely not drive greeter-happy 25 MPH (like that every really has happened).  I also should not drive 60 MPH because getting my sons to school is more important that the law-obiding citizens driving the speed limit to get their kids to the same school, at the same time as me.  

Instead of scoffing at the SUV that is coming into the car line from a side street, I should let them in line every now and then.  Maybe they are not rudely trying to “cut”.  Maybe they are in a hurry to get to the hospital because they have an ill family member.  I shouldn’t assume the negatives.

Though a selfish driver, I am not typically a road rage kind of gal.  I know some of those.  A friend of mine has moments when her hand motions and words make me a little uneasy when she’s worried about someone stopping too closely behind her at a stop light.  Just last week, however, I recall my youngest son saying, as we approached a school bus stopped ahead of us picking up children at 7:01am, “Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me!”.  He had the perfect inflection of a disgruntled, rushed, SELFISH driver.  Wonder where he learned that?  He’s only ten.

—Me, blushing, head down, raising my hand.—

I know where he learned it, and I don’t want these to be the things my kids soak up from our morning drive.  I also don’t want those around me to see that nasty, selfish me sitting behind the wheel with an unhappy face.   They sure wouldn’t see Jesus in my expression.  

It’s February 2nd – DAY TWO of the month of love.  I’m going to put into action the things God is revealing to me, and wear my steel toed Sketchers today, so that as He reveals more, my toes don’t get too wounded in the process.

Heavenly Father, thank you. THANK YOU!  You have heard my prayer and have not held back in showing me multitudes of ways I can love people.  I want so badly to show the love of Jesus to others with my life in the ways I act and ways I speak.  Please continue to show me where I fail to do this, Father, so that I can grow in obedience to Your will for my life.  Make me keenly aware of situations where I need an attitude adjustment or new approach, so that I can best serve and represent You in all I do.  I love you, Father God.  Amen.

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