“When I felt most…”

During this season of Thanksgiving, join me for the rest of the month in reflection of “where we’ve been”.  As we explore our most personal memories, my prayer for you, and for me, is that The Lord will apply His balm, His humor (Yes!  I absolutely believe laughter is a good, good gift from Him.), and His view of all the times that come to mind as we ponder the most vivid emotions we have emblazoned in our hearts.  May God also reveal His presence with you during these reflections, and may you find thanksgiving in them.  What a celebration we will have together…We’ve Come A Long Way, Baby!

Day One’s challenge will be posted tomorrow!
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2 responses to this post.

  1. As I’ve pondered the word “alone” today, I realize how easy it is to confuse “feeling alone” with “feeling lonely”. Lonely is defined by words like lonesome, friendless, forsaken, abandoned, unloved, unwanted, etc. Often the word lonely is accompanied by feelings of sadness. Really different words, the two of them.

    I believe a person can be totally surrounded by people and feel both alone or lonely. Not alone and lonely, but definitely either one independent of the other.

    The time I recall feeling the most ALONE…I was in a room filled to the brim with people worshipping in a church. I experienced what I call a Kaleidescope Moment, one in which God reveals an amazing truth to me. This particular night, after weeks of preparing to see my oldest son, who was eighteen at the time, leave home for the mission field across the ocean from our home, I was standing in the back of a church concert venue. My son was on stage with his guitar and his open heart, sharing about an uncertain future serving The Absolute and Certain Savior. I had been struggling with the idea of letting him go. My first born. It seemed to be an always on battle between what I knew I felt, and how I felt I should feel. My flesh was giving me a fit. But as he sang a hymn, and the words rang out,

    “All my life long I had panted
    For a drink from some cool spring,
    That I hoped would quench the burning
    Of the thirst I felt within..”

    everything around me changed. It was as through a veil between The Lord himself and I was made so thin in this place filled with praises over His name that everything and everybody else, including the sounds, faded away and I was alone in that moment of revelation. Standing in God’s love, and His truth. The most tender words caressed my heart as I understood for the first time the depth of love The Father has for my son – Has for His own! – has for Me. The battle was over. My flesh had lost. And it was completely a victory – a celebration even! – as I stood alone, in a room full of unaware people, to the submission that had just taken place. My son did not belong to me, he never had. He was moving forward and being obedient to The One he does belong to.

    I felt the most alone in that moment. And in the moments after, the most loved and the most grateful. In scripture, we are told to “Be Still, and Know That I Am God.” I think that’s exactly the alone we need to be receptive to Our Father. Alone, without others, without things, but always present with Him. It’s the best Alone I’ve ever known!

    John 8:29 reads: “The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” Jesus spoke these words about The Heavenly Father. How many times do we read of Jesus going off to “be alone” in prayer, in communication with The Father? Oh, that just thrills me, to know that Jesus experienced mighty times of being alone.

    Reply

    • I asked our youngest son today, “What’s a time you can remember feeling most alone? I know you have had a short life so far, but can you remember feeling alone, like when you stayed home when we went to the grocery store when you were younger?”

      He paused, and very seriously answered me, “I feel that way every day at school, but it’s not a bad thing. I just feel different.”

      Alone. In an environment with a lot of people, but feeling unique. And set apart. And different.

      I’d say he has a pretty good handle on what alone feels like. My heart leapt a little when he said, “…but it’s not a bad thing.” I’m so thankful he sees himself as not of this world.

      Reply

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