the toenail An Important Part Of The Whole

November 7:  I am thankful for…

My husband.

We came really close to never meeting, you know.  Praise God my first impression of him didn’t “scare me off”.   Kevin contacted me via email through an online matchmaking website.  His screen name was GRMCLEAN.  You can imagine what I thought when I received an email from this “germ clean” guy.  “What kind of man would announce his germ-phobia that way?”, I thought.  I held my finger poised above the delete button, but decided to see what he had to say in his email before I sent it to the trash bin.  He sounded pretty harmless, actually, and genuine.  Hmmm.  Not at all what I expected from someone who boldly announced their paranoia through an online moniker choice.  After a couple of weeks emailing back and forth, I finally felt brave enough to ask him about his screen name.  Only brave enough, though, to ask from behind my own screen name, Felicity.  Stop laughing!  I put a lot of effort and time into my name selection.  Felicity actually means happiness, and I wanted to display that quality of myself in my moniker selection.  You see now why I wondered why Mr. I Don’t Like Germs would choose to label himself the way he did.  Our conversation went something like this:

Felicity: Hey, I was wondering something.

GRMCLEAN:  Ok.  What?

Felicity:  Why exactly do you call yourself Germ Clean?

GRMCLEAN:  What?

Felicity:  Your screen name.  Do you have a problem with germs?

—–long pause——–
—–so much so that I worried he’d signed off———-

GRMCLEAN:  No, NO!  That’s not what my screen name means!  See, I got this puppy recently.  And the screen name comes from her name.

Felicity:  Ok, now THAT is even weirder, I think.  Why would you name your DOG germ clean?

GRMCLEAN:  Haha!  No!  GR = Golden Retriever.  That’s the kind of dog she is.  And McLean is her last name according to her AKC papers.

We both just laughed and laughed about that.  For the first two weeks of our “getting to know you through emails” time, I did so with some serious reservations over that silly screen name.  And to think, I almost deleted his first email!  After that revelation, I felt comfortable enough to tell him my name wasn’t really Felicity.

We’ve been married for over eleven years now, and I cannot imagine NOT being with him.  I couldn’t ask for a more doting husband or dedicated father to our boys.  He loves and inspires me, challenges and encourages me.  I’m truly blessed.

Heavenly Father, thank you for uniting me with the man whom, I know without a shadow of a doubt, you personally chose just for me.  Father, may we honor you with our lives and bring glory to Your sweet name in all that we do.  Amen. 

November 6:  I am thankful for…

…FREEDOM.

Freedom of religion.
Freedom of speech.
The right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
The right to vote.
Freedom to move between states.

This year, November 11th is IDOP (International Day of Prayer for the Persecuted Church).  As so many in America argue over or celebrate the results of the recent presidential election, I can’t help but think about the privileges we have here, in comparison to so many other parts of the world.  I can carry my bible in public, without camouflaging it.  I can wear a cross around my neck without fear of it being seen.  I can pray pretty much any time, any place.  I can share The Good News openly.  I can attend church services in buildings or facilities that house regular meetings.  I can sport a Jesus fish and EBC sticker on my car, without fear of backlash.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for the freedoms we all have in the United States.  I ask boldly, Father, that you continue to bless our nation as we move forward under Obama’s administration.  Please guide the steps of our president, whether he acknowledges Your hand of guidance or not, and protect the United States from harm.  Jesus, I pray for my brothers and sisters in Christ who are serving or living in the very darkest of places today.  May they be filled with your strength and encouragement as they press forth in areas where there are little to no freedoms, and where persecution reigns.  All this in your son’s sweet, holy name.  Amen.

November 5:  I am thankful for…

…God’s truth.

Today, I found myself in a waiting room filled with people who were seeking justice and fair measures.  People who wanted some type of relief or reprieve.  Bitter people.  Pride-filled people.  Angry people.  Belligerent, lost, worried and sad people.  Right people and not-so-right people.

I had a Journey devotional book with me in this room full of unsettled emotion, and opened it in search of some light.  In it, I read:

“When confronted with lies, Jesus didn’t allow the lies to confuse Him or undermine what He knew to be true.  Instead, He identified the lies as being from Satan.  He called them what they were – lies.  And he confronted them with the truth.  Because of Jesus’ wisdom, power, and authority, Satan was never able to deceive, distract, confuse, discourage, or defeat Him.  We are to become like Jesus, and His victory can apply to us in our daily battles.”

And then, I read it again.
And again.
And as I read it, I was comforted in this same waiting room.
I prayed in thanksgiving for My Savior – My Counsel – who was present with me in that waiting room.  The One who would work out my situation for His good.

Father, thank you for your truth.  Thank you for allowing this truth to resonate through my moments this afternoon, giving me the comfort needed to handle a very uncomfortable situation.  It is through Your Word that I find all the peace needed to see me through these life trials.  Thank you so much for loving me.  Amen.

November 4:  I am thankful for…

…friendship.

Specifically, the kind of friendship that does not wear labels or fit neatly into a box –
the kind that is true and trustworthy –
weathered and time tested –
steadfast and constant –
that does not judge, but encourages –
is challenging and accepting, all at once.

Today I was able to spend some time with my best friend and her family, as they are in town for a few days.  It doesn’t matter that there are hundreds of miles between our daily lives, and it doesn’t matter that our talks are far and few in-between.  When we are able to spend time together, it’s as if the days and years spent apart dissipate and we are just as close as we were when we were teenagers.

1988

1999

2012

In Proverbs 27:17 we are told, “As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend.”  No doubt, my friend is definitely this to me.  I am so thankful for her!

November 3:  I am thankful for…

…rest.

Today has been a busting-at-the-seams Saturday.  We’re talking hours spent at a downtown festival, followed by hours spent working in the yard.  I have been totally surrounded by my family today, and on my feet for nearly 15 hours straight.  Wouldn’t change a thing though, including the aching feet, because the laughter and work was wrapped up in quality time with my family.

My body is physically exhausted, which is going to make for some solid rest tonight.  I’m so excited to have an “extra” hour to sleep in the morning.  But it’s not just my body that’s worn out after today.  The last few days – 9 to be exact – have been mentally exhausting.  With friends moving away, a new neighbor moving in, the pending election, an ending to something familiar, a beginning of something hoped to be familiar quickly – Yes!  Capital E exhausted mentally.  Today provided a welcomed reprieve – and tonight?  Well, I’m off to make sure I get to snoozing well before the clock chimes in a new day.

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for the blessing of a beautiful day and family to share it with.  You know, my Savior, what tires my head and troubles my feet.  Please bless the hours of rest for me tonight, and wake me in the morning with a rejuvenated spirit and body.  I love you, Jesus, and I am so thankful for your healing touch and comfort.  Amen.

November 2:  I am thankful for…

…the storm in my life right now.

Want proof that satan is shaking in his boots?  Try yielding to the will of the Holy Spirit, walking closely with the Savior on what you know is the pathway He has prepared for you, and pay attention to how the world responds all around. The clashes of thunder.  The sharp lightening.  The raging winds.  The dark skies.  All of the tumultuous things born to distract from the magnetic pull of the right of way.  The right way.

Matthew 14: 25-31 reads:

²⁵ Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. ²⁶ And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear.
²⁷ But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.”
²⁸ And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.”
²⁹ So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. ³⁰ But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!”
³¹ And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:25-31, New King James Version)

There is a storm all around me, and as I am keeping my eyes on Christ before me, stretching out His hands and telling me to “come”, I am determined to drown out the weather activities so that I do not lose my footing.  It’s hard, but I know without a doubt that Jesus has me and will not let me sink.

I’ve often heard that if things are going smoothly, with no conflict or struggle, then it might be wise to take a look at the path you are following.  See, satan does not desire for us to follow God’s will for our lives – he is determined to throw every punch he can to lead us astray.  And if we are veering off of God’s path for us, the right way, nothing pleases satan more.  But when we keep our feet planted, walking in Christ, satan can, and usually does, launch an all out attack to hinder our procession on the narrow path.

Looking at the storm around me, I am confident that the sleep deprivation, the restlessness of my mind and even the stress-induced fever blister that is trying its hardest to surface, are all things that cause satan to giggle a little.  But know this, I will not waiver from the path my Jesus has so lovingly carved out for me.

I’m thankful for the storm, because I know that I am going to walk out of the dark clouds a stronger woman, who reflects Christ even more than I did the day before.

Heavenly Father, thank you for today.  Thank you for loving me and for promising to walk with me through everything, including the storms.  I love you, Jesus, and know that you have equipped me with enough grace to walk through this storm unscathed.  It is in your perfect love that I take refuge and refueling.  May Your will be done through this time of unrest.  Amen.

Whew – October was a doozie!  It was with open arms that I welcomed this first day of November, even though they were unpreparedly met with a brisk 39 degree morning hugging  me back.

It’s time for some focus.

Time for buckling down into routine, and finding some stability in my crazy world right now.

A special girlfriend is dedicating her blog this November to 30 days of thankfulness.  You can read her by clicking this link:   As-For-My-House.  What a great way to accentuate the positive!  I am running as hard as I can to join her in this venture.  Some other friends are accepting the challenge, too.  There’s room for all — why don’t you pull up a cozy chair and celebrate 30-days of thanksgiving in your blog, too?

November 1:  I am thankful for…

…my 30-days of Thankfulness friend, who is all sorts of wonderful things, but who above all else, has a heart for Jesus Christ and desires to lead other women in pursuit of an intimate relationship with Him.  Through laughter, tears, anger, fears…she shares transparently and assures so many women that the struggles and triumphs in life are the constants we share, and how keeping our hearts focused on Christ Himself will see us through…anything and everything!

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for the friendships you’ve blessed me with, and for directing my path to join in fellowship with some pretty amazing Beloved Beauties.  Father, thank you for Jess, and for giving her the vision to seek connectivity among Your daughters.  May You continue to be glorified through our friendships.  Amen.

Philippians 2:1-2

“Mess.”

I can remember when my youngest son was just two, looking matter-of-factly at the spilled box of spaghetti noodles on the kitchen floor, saying, “Mess, momma, mess.”  He wasn’t upset, he wasn’t happy, he was just stating the mechanics of the moment as he saw them – “Mess”.

That’s how I feel today.

I feel like I’m standing in observance a box of all my colorful emotions that are spilled out across the floor.  “Mess.”  There’s some happy over there.  It’s sort of yellow with touches of orange.  Right next to it is the gray colored concern and the black worry.  Splayed out directly across from that is the white hot guilt (white hot because it’s not what you think it is and it seems to be in everything today).  Dot all of this with broken blue and green pieces of sadness and want.  There is a little tiny bit of joy out there – those are the bright pieces of rainbow.  Rainbow, because of God’s promises.

The thing is, I don’t feel like scooping them up and placing them all neat and tidy in their box right now.  Today, in this very moment, I’m sort of dependent on each one of those emotions.  They are comfortable.  I do really like the way happy feels, and I cannot get enough of the joy rainbow, either.  But, as crazy as it sounds, I’m finding that the other colors are playing an important role in my today, too.

In her book, Unglued, Lysa Terkeurst writes,

“Our emotions are what enable us to drink deeply from love and treasure it.  And yes, we also experience difficult emotions such as sadness, fear, shame, and anger.  But might these be important as well?”
“God gave me emotions so I could experience life…”

I’m experiencing life.  That’s it!  I AM experiencing life!  Praise God, I am experiencing life, even with my box dumped out all over the floor.   It is a mess, indeed.  But it’s a beautiful mess to the Master Creator.  I’m so thankful he loves me when I keep my emotions tucked neatly under cover and even when I toss them out all over the floor.

This is how I’ve spent day 403.  Unsure of what I feel exactly.  One emotion seems to trump the next, over and over again.  I think I’m going to let Jesus have the gray, black, white hot, blue and green crayons, and see if I can put the rest of the colors back into place.

When I was younger, I wanted the white picket fence so badly!
And the husband, the 2.5 kids and dog that go with it.
And the sports cars, vacations, rockin’ body and bottomless bank account.

Life is messy.
It’s rarely a match to the utopian dreams we imagine when we’re younger.

At some point, the mile marker of the white picket fence started to fade, as did my own plans, when I welcomed Jesus into the door of my heart.  The more I chase Jesus, the more I pass by things that I used to think would make me happy.  The more frequently I chase Jesus, the more often I pass by those things.  And the more quickly I chase Jesus, the faster I pass by those things, too.

That white picket fence used to be so real to me – I could almost smell the fresh paint!  Now, I see beyond that fence to where true treasures await.  In Matthew 6 verses 19 – 20, we are told:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.”

The fence is no longer an object that represents success, arrival or reward to me…it is a symbol of things that are temporary on this earth.

Heavenly Father, help me to keep my focus beyond the things of this world so that I may be steadfast in  walking the pathway you have prepared for me.  Father, I long to work in your will for my life and bring glory to your son’s sweet, holy name, always.  My eyesight may be falling victim to the confines of this earth, but my vision, Lord, you sharpen more and more every day, setting it upon the good things you have prepared ahead for me.  Father, please help me see opportunities you present and give me abundant courage and strength to carry out your wishes with all I meet.  Thank you so much for loving me.  Amen.